20. Procedure of Marriages and Timely of Payment of Meher

Surah No. 4, An Nisa, Ayat No. 24

وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ النِّسَاء إِلاَّ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ كِتَابَ اللّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَأُحِلَّ لَكُم مَّا وَرَاء

ذَلِكُمْ أَن تَبْتَغُواْ بِأَمْوَالِكُم مُّحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ فَمَا اسْتَمْتَعْتُم بِهِ مِنْهُنَّ فَآتُوهُنَّ

أُجُورَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً وَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا تَرَاضَيْتُم بِهِ مِن بَعْدِ الْفَرِيضَةِ إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ

o عَلِيمًا حَكِيمًا

Translation :

All married women already having husbands are forbidden to you. Except those whom your right hands possess (captives of war and slaves). It is a decree of Allah for you. It is Lawful for you to marry other women ,offering them their 'Mehr' (Bridal Money) desiring chastity and not to derive only enjoyment. When you had intercourse with those women, give them their "Mehr "( Bridal Money )as prescribed ; and that is obligatory on your part. There is no blame if you increase or decrease the Mehr amount by mutual understanding. Verily ! Allah is all Knowing, Wise.

Surah No. 4, An Nisa, Ayat No. 3

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء مَثْنَى

وَثُلاَثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تَعْدِلُواْ فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى

o أَلاَّ تَعُولُواْ

Translation :

And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal fairly with the orphan¬girls, then marry other women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal honestly (fairly) with them, then only one or ( marry) your slave, that your right hands possess (In earlier days there was a tradition of purchase of slave or after the wars the warriors used to get a girl slave). That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.

Surah No. 4, An Nisa, Ayat No. 4

o وَآتُواْ النَّسَاء صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَيْءٍ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَّرِيئًا

Translation :

And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mehr (obligatory bridal-money agreed by the husband to his wife) willingly with good heart, but if they, on their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and consume it without fear.

Surah No. 4, An Nisa, Ayat No. 19

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ لاَ يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُواْ النِّسَاء كَرْهًا وَلاَ تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُواْ بِبَعْضِ

مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلاَّ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ

o فَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيراً

Translation :

O you who believe! It is not lawful for you to become successor of a women forcibly against their will. Nor should you ill-treat them with harshness for taking back what you have given them― In case a woman is guilty of committing a sin in open lewdness then the matter is different ; If you do not like them sustain a woman honourably on a footing of equity. It may be possible that you dislike a thing and Allah may have put therein a great deal of good.

Surah No. 2, Al Baqr, Ayat No. 235

وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُمْ بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنْتُمْ فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ

عَلِمَ اللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَٰكِنْ لَا تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلَّا أَنْ تَقُولُوا قَوْلًا

مَعْرُوفًا وَلَا تَعْزِمُوا عُقْدَةَ النِّكَاحِ حَتَّىٰ يَبْلُغَ الْكِتَابُ أَجَلَهُ وَاعْلَمُوا

o أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ

Translation :

There is no blame on you if you make an indirect offer to marry woman (widow) or hold the offer in your hearts. Allah knows that you would proceed in this matter : But do not make a secret contract with them except that you speak to them in honourable terms according to the tradition. Do not tie in marriage till the term prescribed by Allah is fulfilled (term of 4 months and 10 days). And know that Allah knows what is in your hearts, and fear Him; and know that Allah is Oft Forgiving Most Forbearing.

Surah No. 4, An Nisa, Ayats No. 22 - 23

وَلاَ تَنكِحُواْ مَا نَكَحَ آبَاؤُكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء إِلاَّ مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَمَقْتًا وَسَاء

o سَبِيلاً

حُرِّمَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ وَعَمَّاتُكُمْ وَخَالاَتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُ الأَخِ وَبَنَاتُ

الأُخْتِ وَأُمَّهَاتُكُمُ اللاَّتِي أَرْضَعْنَكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُم مِّنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ وَأُمَّهَاتُ نِسَآئِكُمْ

وَرَبَائِبُكُمُ اللاَّتِي فِي حُجُورِكُم مِّن نِّسَآئِكُمُ اللاَّتِي دَخَلْتُم بِهِنَّ فَإِن لَّمْ تَكُونُواْ دَخَلْتُم

بِهِنَّ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَحَلاَئِلُ أَبْنَائِكُمُ الَّذِينَ مِنْ أَصْلاَبِكُمْ وَأَن تَجْمَعُواْ بَيْنَ الأُخْتَيْنِ

o إَلاَّ مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا

Translation :

And do not marry those women whom your fathers married, except what has already happened in the past. Verily ! it was a matter of lewdness and indecency, and an evil way. Forbidden to you are your mothers, and your daughters, and your sisters, and your father's sisters, and your mother's sisters, and your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters, and your foster-mothers (milk suckling mothers), and your foster-sisters (milk suckiling sisters), and your mothers-in-law, and your step-daughters who are under your protection (born) of your women to whom you have gone in - but if you have not gone in to them, then it is no sin for you (to marry their daughters) - and the wives of your real sons. And (it is forbidden to you) that you should have two sisters together, except what has already happened in the past. Infact ! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.

Surah No. 5, Al Maaeda, Part of Ayat No. 5

وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُواْ الْكِتَابَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ إِذَا

آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ مُحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ وَلاَ مُتَّخِذِي أَخْدَانٍ وَمَن يَكْفُرْ بِالإِيمَانِ

O فَقَدْ حَبِطَ عَمَلُهُ وَهُوَ فِي الآخِرَةِ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ

Translation :

And lawful are the pure women of the believers and the pure women of those who received the Scripture before you, when you give them their bridal money (Mehr) and live with them in honour, not to seek only pleasure , nor taking them as secret companions. Who rejects the faith, all his work will go in vain and he will be the loser in the Hereafter.

Comments

In the past ,we were allowed to marry pure girls of those people who were given Scriptures (Holy Books). In present circumstances, the Jews and Christians, though they are the possessors of the holy books but they have totally ignored the guidelines and started eating flesh of swine, started drinking alcohol and left the purity. Therefore marriage of a believer with their girls is not good so also marriage of Muslim girl with their boys should also be avoided, as there is danger of losing faith of boys and girls of the believers. ( Tafsir of Maulana Abdul Karim Parekh " Tashrihul Quran 5:5 ).

Surah No. 2, Al Baqr, Ayat No. 221

وَلاَ تَنكِحُواْ الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنَّ وَلأَمَةٌ مُّؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِّن مُّشْرِكَةٍ وَلَوْ

أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ وَلاَ تُنكِحُواْ الْمُشِرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُواْ وَلَعَبْدٌ مُّؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌ مِّن مُّشْرِكٍ

وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْ أُوْلَـئِكَ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى النَّارِ وَاللّهُ يَدْعُوَ إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ وَالْمَغْفِرَةِ بِإِذْنِهِ

o وَيُبَيِّنُ آيَاتِهِ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَذَكَّرُونَ

Translation :

Do not marry unbelieving women until they believe; a slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman even though she allure you. Nor allow your girls to marry to unbelievers until they believe: a man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allure you. Unbelievers do invite you to the fire. But Allah invites you by His Grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness, and He makes His Signs clear to mankind: that they receive the true guidance.

Fatwa from Darul Uloom Deoband

Q. No. 1

اگر کسی غیر مسلم نے کسی مسلمان لڑکی سے شادی کرنے کے لیے اسلام قبول کیا ہے، تو کیا یہ ہمارے مذہب میں جائز ہے یا نہیں؟ برائے کرم سورہ بقرہ کی آیت نمبر221کے سیاق و سباق میں تشریح کردیں؟

Translation :

Q. If a non believer accepts Islam for marrying a Muslim girl, is it allowed in our religion ? Kindly also elaborate and clarify the meaning of Ayat No 221 of Surah Al BAQR.

28.2.09 Answer 10671 and fatwa No. 334=334 / m

If someone accepts Islam considering Islam as a true religion, and after accepting it, one is safe from the hell fire, Allah and his apostle will be pleased with him and it is way to enter the Paradise. Therefore it is a great act to accept Islam in view of the above reason.

Accepting Islam for the sake of marrying a girl may not be liked by Allah.

Darl Ifta Darul Uloom Deoband

Fatwa from IslamiCity of Toranto ( Canada )

Q. No 2

Janab Mufti sb.Assalam alaikum, If a non Muslim wants to marry a Muslim girl and accepts Islam, is it allowed ? Some of the religious scholars say that since the objective of accepting Islam is marriage, therefore it is not allowed. Can you please give your views ?

Answer:

Bismillahir-RaHmanir-RaHeem. This should be strictly noted that, a person enters Islam by pronouncing the kalima (also known as the shahadah: there is no God but Allah; Muhammad (saws) is the Messenger of Allah). A person goes out of Islam by denouncing Islam just as he enters Islam by pronouncing the kalmia. So, he enters and exits from the same door. The definition of a Muslim is one, he/she must also believe in the Angels, the Books, all the Prophets, the Last Day, and the fact that good and bad are decreed by Allah. Besides, he/she must also accept the Five Pillars of Islam (the five daily prayers, paying Zakah, fasting during Ramadan, and making pilgrimage to Makkah once in a life-time, if one has the physical and financial ability to do so). We must also add that if a person denies the obligation to pray, or fast, or pay Zakah, or make Hajj, then he goes out of the fold of Islam. However, that is different from someone who simply refuses to pray out of laziness; he will still be considered a Muslim if he does not deny the obligation of prayer."

As regards to your question, you should know that the partner should be of good character, with a strong religious inclination, and the two young people are happy and feel compatible with one another. Though, prior to marriage contract, Islam recommends that man/woman should look at the prospective spouse, by no means does it give free rein to men and women to look freely at each other.

Generally speaking, a valid marriage has to meet certain requirements such as announcement, the payment of the dower, the consent of both parties, the permission of the wali (woman's guardian), and the presence of witnesses. "If any woman marries without the permission of her guardian, then her marriage is void," (Reported by Abu Dawud & others and classed as sahih). It is therefore very clear that If the above conditions are met and he/she accepts ISLAM then marriage is permissible.

May Allah guide us all to the straight path! Wassalam and ALLAH knows best.

Thank you

www.islamiCity.com

Comments :

It is very clear from the above fatwas that any person who is accepting the faith and becoming a Muslim must have a well defined objective. In other words, he should become a true Muslim after accepting values of Islam and then practice its guidelines. It is perhaps very difficult for a new person to become a practicing Muslim. Since this matter is delicate and has many adverse effects on the families of the girl and the boy and may have adverse impact on the next generation also. In my view, youngsters who are involved in such type of activities must understand the gravity of the situation and must avoid to become part of this situation. I know that during this period there is great impact of feature films and various serials of the small screen on the young generation. The message being derived by the young people from the films and TV is to ignore the values of their families and prioritize the values of their young partners. It is being suggested to them that they must understand the sentiments of their parents and should avoid such things to happen.